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Very Blue Ramble


LadyBlue
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Hello Log .... I don't even know where to start this post , sooooo .... I have been away from here for awhile.... I was keeping vigil at the Royal Alex I.C.U. .... My first husband .... father of my children and grandfather of my grandsons was in ruff shape.He has now passed on. I am surprised at how very much this has effected me. I spend day and night with him through this sad time. I shocked myself as I held his hand as he took his last breath. I never would of thought I would be the one careing for him at the end, but there I was {I never thought I would be this kind and had this deep forgiveness within me}.I watched him and my kids and it just broke my heart seeing all the pain ....his was physical and ours was emotional.... I don't know wich is the hardest to go through. I found out so much about myself but wishing I could have learned it all in a differant place than a deathbed. I am not feeling well right now so Im going to possably be away from here for a wee bit longer { heaven only knows}. I feel like an elaphant is sitting on my chest.... I'm not very good with loss ..... I am selfish enuff to preffer others not leaving me {so damn selfish}. I had known him since I was 17 .... a lifetime of knowing him .... "Go With God My Friend"

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  • 1 month later...

I am sorry to hear this. I too have a hard time dealing with loss..especially losing someone whom I know very closely.

I pray that you find a strength to deal with this loss and each day you'll find something that brings peace and joy in your heart. May good memories you share with him always be remembered and cherished.

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