I believe the gray is medium. That is what I use.
It is safe for fish (and drinking water) as long as it has cured. I let mine cure for 24 hours before rinsing and running.
You will need PVC Primer and Cement. It is available at Home Depot under the Oatey brand. Just make sure the existing plumping is PVC and not CPVC because the cement is not interchangeable.
I just had shoulder surgery, so I am not able to build you a stand. If I was not in this sling I would be all for building for you. Woodworking is one of my hobbies. Sorry I can't help.
The #7 (U.S. Mesh Size) is screened through a #7 screen with a opening size of 0.111" and the #4 is screened through an opening size of 0.187", so the #4 will have some larger particles in it.
When I set up my tank, I went to Burnco Rock Products and bought Sil #7 Silica Sand in 100 lb bags for $9. It is a light tan color and really works well.
Here are a couple of photos that show the sand.
It was really neat to watch him dig. He went on for hours cleaning "his spot" out.
I currently have 41 inhabitants. I think I am going to add 6 Albino Socolofi and then be done for a while until I have to cull some of the males.